There has been something I have been wondering for a very long time. Why is everything better on ice? Think about it. Flavored syrup, rain, sculptures, bruises, fishing, enemies, Jagermeister, Disney's The Lion King , the list goes on. I had pondered this long enough so I decided to find out for myself. I bought myself, and two other close friends, three tickets to 100 Years of Disney – on ice.

I, myself, have never been to something “on ice.” So I was anticipating nothing less than awesome!

As I walked up to the stadium, noticing that the majority of attendees were mothers and their kids, I quickly realized I might be looked upon as a “predator.” All I wanted was to see some good Disney fun (on ice). They started the show with all the characters coming out and every kid in the house was going absolutely apeshit. I was pretty far up but from where I was, it looked like Cinderella and The Little Mermaid were very “talented.” As the show went on, they acted out all the most popular stories from Disney (on ice). Apparently Aladdin had to grow some legs because he was pulling some crazy shit (on ice)! And if I remember correctly, The Little Mermaid had fins, right? Well, at the risk of ruining someone's vision of her, that bitch had medal blades attached to her feet! I saw it! She still looked good though. I'm not going to go into much more detail about the show because when you think of what Disney's 100 Years of Disney on ice might be like, yeah, that's what its like.

Now back to the original question. Was Disney better “on ice?” Fuck yeah it was! Let's get to the root of the question. Why is everything better “on ice”? It's easy! Because water has one of the highest thermal inertias out of any natural substance and is the only substance on earth found in all of its three physical states!