You should never have gotten out of bed this morning.
You knew it as soon as you looked in the mirror.
Your eyes were torrid and messy, like two big philosophies. Your immediate instinct was to a, but instead you decided to call your friend a: you knew you couldn't make it on your own.
The day was a a, but it didn't matter. Nothing mattered, especially not before your usual morning cup of coffee. In lieu of your traditional splash of a in your steaming mug, you opted for a shot of a to spike up your morning. That a needed a punch.
You moved into the a, which is where you typically read the newspaper. Most of the paper seemed business as usual:
WEATHER: a Degrees F with a
a% chance of a a.
HEADLINE: Lebanon, Chad, and
France have been
completely leveled due to nuclear warfare.
But the health watch really caught your attention:
HEALTH WATCH: Disease Alert: Fatal Outbreak Most obvious symptom: a warts located on victim's a. After wart-sighting, victim has approximately a hours to live.
HHhhmmmmm….you thought. Wait a second! Is that what you saw this morning? a warts on your a?! Yes!
Just then, a knocked on the door. As you welcomed your friend, you said, "Well, a, I have a warts on my a. That means I only have a hours to live!."
"That's OK," replied a. "It means we finally have an excuse to go to the a. I've always wanted to take you there."
The two of you set off for the a. But before you could even leave your street, a group of robbers approached you, a demanding all your money. Out of fear, you reached into your pocket. But instead of pulling out your money, you remembered your a warts, and decided to teach the robbers a lesson.
"Wanna catch these?" you shouted, and began waving your infected a a.
The robbers began screaming like a bunch of a, but the distraction didn't work on everyone. Before you could escape, the robbers had taken your and a's wallets.
"Wait!" you exclaimed a, after they had left. "I have the extra a dollars that I keep in my scarf! We can go to the a with that!"
The two of you boarded the El, and calmly waited for your stop. You hadn't been on the train for more than two minutes when it gave a sudden lurch into darkness. People began yelling desperately and dangerously as they tried to get off the derailed train. In the a confusion, you were certain you infected at least a dozen people with the fatal disease.
As the a crowd spilled into the chaotic street, you and a noticed that you were right in front of the a. Just then, the temperature dropped to a Degrees F, and the a broke loose. Plus, the a was surrounded by a hundred firefighters trying to put out a a fire that was spreading throughout the entire area.
You looked at a, and the two of you began to laugh like a couple of a a.
In a moment of supreme generosity, you extended your a wart covered a. "Here, a! Why wait around in a place like this when we can leave it together?!" you shouted. Smiling a, the two of you stood together amidst the wreckage, calmly rubbing as and waiting to succumb to the a warts.