You should never have gotten out of bed this morning.
You knew it as soon as you looked in the mirror.
Your eyes were horny and fat , like two big egg . Your immediate instinct was to take , but instead you decided to call your friend gines : you knew you couldn't make it on your own.
The day was a wednesday , but it didn't matter. Nothing mattered, especially not before your usual morning cup of coffee. In lieu of your traditional splash of beer in your steaming mug, you opted for a shot of wine to spike up your morning. That wednesday needed a punch.
You moved into the toilet, which is where you typically read the newspaper. Most of the paper seemed business as usual:
WEATHER: -10 Degrees F with a
99% chance of a cyclone.
HEADLINE: india, china , and
spain have been
completely leveled due to nuclear warfare.
But the health watch really caught your attention:
HEALTH WATCH: Disease Alert: Fatal Outbreak Most obvious symptom: red warts located on victim's pussy . After wart-sighting, victim has approximately 4 hours to live.
HHhhmmmmm….you thought. Wait a second! Is that what you saw this morning? red warts on your pussy ?! Yes!
Just then, gines knocked on the door. As you welcomed your friend, you said, "Well, gines , I have red warts on my pussy . That means I only have 4 hours to live!."
"That's OK," replied gines . "It means we finally have an excuse to go to the illinois. I've always wanted to take you there."
The two of you set off for the illinois. But before you could even leave your street, a group of robbers approached you, threatening demanding all your money. Out of fear, you reached into your pocket. But instead of pulling out your money, you remembered your red warts, and decided to teach the robbers a lesson.
"Wanna catch these?" you shouted, and began waving your infected pussy skipping .
The robbers began screaming like a bunch of geese, but the distraction didn't work on everyone. Before you could escape, the robbers had taken your and gines 's wallets.
"Wait!" you exclaimed dying, after they had left. "I have the extra 24 dollars that I keep in my thong ! We can go to the illinois with that!"
The two of you boarded the El, and calmly waited for your stop. You hadn't been on the train for more than 33 minutes when it gave a sudden lurch into darkness. People began yelling desperately and swaying as they tried to get off the derailed train. In the tipsy confusion, you were certain you infected at least 44 dozen people with the fatal disease.
As the gregarious crowd spilled into the chaotic street, you and gines noticed that you were right in front of the illinois. Just then, the temperature dropped to -10 Degrees F, and the cyclone broke loose. Plus, the illinois was surrounded by 33 hundred firefighters trying to put out a fat fire that was spreading throughout the entire area.
You looked at gines , and the two of you began to laugh like a couple of wet mature.
In a moment of supreme generosity, you extended your red wart covered pussy . "Here, gines ! Why wait around in a place like this when we can leave it together?!" you shouted. Smiling wonderful, the two of you stood together amidst the wreckage, calmly rubbing pussy s and waiting to succumb to the red warts.