You should never have gotten out of bed this morning.
You knew it as soon as you looked in the mirror.
Your eyes were colorfull and purple, like two big wrong. Your immediate instinct was to learn, but instead you decided to call your friend know no: you knew you couldn't make it on your own.
The day was a saturday, but it didn't matter. Nothing mattered, especially not before your usual morning cup of coffee. In lieu of your traditional splash of crown in your steaming mug, you opted for a shot of mgd to spike up your morning. That saturday needed a punch.
You moved into the hallway, which is where you typically read the newspaper. Most of the paper seemed business as usual:
WEATHER: -9 Degrees F with a
7% chance of a errpution.
HEADLINE: japan, neitherland, and
jamaica have been
completely leveled due to nuclear warfare.
But the health watch really caught your attention:
HEALTH WATCH: Disease Alert: Fatal Outbreak Most obvious symptom: black warts located on victim's toe. After wart-sighting, victim has approximately 4 hours to live.
HHhhmmmmm….you thought. Wait a second! Is that what you saw this morning? black warts on your toe?! Yes!
Just then, know no knocked on the door. As you welcomed your friend, you said, "Well, know no, I have black warts on my toe. That means I only have 4 hours to live!."
"That's OK," replied know no. "It means we finally have an excuse to go to the chicago ave.. I've always wanted to take you there."
The two of you set off for the chicago ave.. But before you could even leave your street, a group of robbers approached you, hard demanding all your money. Out of fear, you reached into your pocket. But instead of pulling out your money, you remembered your black warts, and decided to teach the robbers a lesson.
"Wanna catch these?" you shouted, and began waving your infected toe tough.
The robbers began screaming like a bunch of big lion, but the distraction didn't work on everyone. Before you could escape, the robbers had taken your and know no's wallets.
"Wait!" you exclaimed aware, after they had left. "I have the extra 6 dollars that I keep in my sock! We can go to the chicago ave. with that!"
The two of you boarded the El, and calmly waited for your stop. You hadn't been on the train for more than 13 minutes when it gave a sudden lurch into darkness. People began yelling desperately and look as they tried to get off the derailed train. In the wonderfull confusion, you were certain you infected at least 55 dozen people with the fatal disease.
As the lovely crowd spilled into the chaotic street, you and know no noticed that you were right in front of the chicago ave.. Just then, the temperature dropped to -9 Degrees F, and the errpution broke loose. Plus, the chicago ave. was surrounded by 75 hundred firefighters trying to put out a micphone fire that was spreading throughout the entire area.
You looked at know no, and the two of you began to laugh like a couple of suppose run.
In a moment of supreme generosity, you extended your black wart covered toe. "Here, know no! Why wait around in a place like this when we can leave it together?!" you shouted. Smiling you, the two of you stood together amidst the wreckage, calmly rubbing toes and waiting to succumb to the black warts.