You should never have gotten out of bed this morning.
You knew it as soon as you looked in the mirror.
Your eyes were big fucking whale and big fucking whale, like two big big fucking whale. Your immediate instinct was to big fucking whale, but instead you decided to call your friend big fucking whale: you knew you couldn't make it on your own.
The day was a big fucking whale, but it didn't matter. Nothing mattered, especially not before your usual morning cup of coffee. In lieu of your traditional splash of big fucking whale in your steaming mug, you opted for a shot of big fucking whale to spike up your morning. That big fucking whale needed a punch.
You moved into the big fucking whale, which is where you typically read the newspaper. Most of the paper seemed business as usual:
WEATHER: big fucking whale Degrees F with a
big fucking whale% chance of a big fucking whale.
HEADLINE: big fucking whale, big fucking whale, and
big fucking whale have been
completely leveled due to nuclear warfare.
But the health watch really caught your attention:
HEALTH WATCH: Disease Alert: Fatal Outbreak Most obvious symptom: big fucking whale warts located on victim's big fucking whale. After wart-sighting, victim has approximately big fucking whale hours to live.
HHhhmmmmm….you thought. Wait a second! Is that what you saw this morning? big fucking whale warts on your big fucking whale?! Yes!
Just then, big fucking whale knocked on the door. As you welcomed your friend, you said, "Well, big fucking whale, I have big fucking whale warts on my big fucking whale. That means I only have big fucking whale hours to live!."
"That's OK," replied big fucking whale. "It means we finally have an excuse to go to the big fucking whale. I've always wanted to take you there."
The two of you set off for the big fucking whale. But before you could even leave your street, a group of robbers approached you, big fucking whale demanding all your money. Out of fear, you reached into your pocket. But instead of pulling out your money, you remembered your big fucking whale warts, and decided to teach the robbers a lesson.
"Wanna catch these?" you shouted, and began waving your infected big fucking whale big fucking whale.
The robbers began screaming like a bunch of big fucking whale, but the distraction didn't work on everyone. Before you could escape, the robbers had taken your and big fucking whale's wallets.
"Wait!" you exclaimed big fucking whale, after they had left. "I have the extra big fucking whale dollars that I keep in my big fucking whale! We can go to the big fucking whale with that!"
The two of you boarded the El, and calmly waited for your stop. You hadn't been on the train for more than big fucking whale minutes when it gave a sudden lurch into darkness. People began yelling desperately and big fucking whale as they tried to get off the derailed train. In the big fucking whale confusion, you were certain you infected at least big fucking whale dozen people with the fatal disease.
As the big fucking whale crowd spilled into the chaotic street, you and big fucking whale noticed that you were right in front of the big fucking whale. Just then, the temperature dropped to big fucking whale Degrees F, and the big fucking whale broke loose. Plus, the big fucking whale was surrounded by big fucking whale hundred firefighters trying to put out a big fucking whale fire that was spreading throughout the entire area.
You looked at big fucking whale, and the two of you began to laugh like a couple of big fucking whale big fucking whale.
In a moment of supreme generosity, you extended your big fucking whale wart covered big fucking whale. "Here, big fucking whale! Why wait around in a place like this when we can leave it together?!" you shouted. Smiling big fucking whale, the two of you stood together amidst the wreckage, calmly rubbing big fucking whales and waiting to succumb to the big fucking whale warts.