Getting To the Bar or Pub and Home Again
CTA : The el isn't always reliable to get you on time for where you want to go, nor is it free of homeless solicitors also partaking in the spirit of the holiday, but it's still there if you need it.
Cars and Motorcycles : Not a highly recommended use of transportation in or around the city unless you plan on staying overnight at a friend's house, so then you'll be behind the wheel only when you're half-drunk the next day. It's your call.
Taxi : The preferred method for people that hate public transportation and know to leave the car at home. Finding one shouldn't be a problem . Please try to puke either before you've entered the cab, or once you've exited it. You don't even want to deal with your bile, much less some undeserving stranger who's chauffeuring you around.
Bicycle : Weird and unorthodox for getting to and from bars on any day, let alone St. Patrick's.
Walking : It's good exercise, so I hear, and obviously inexpensive. Try to do this during daylight hours if you're by yourself, or with groups at night. Safety first. If you're still bipedal by the time last call rolls around, why not take a stroll to either yours or some random hookup's place. And if you're not with someone, walk home at night as a last resort, that is, if you have no money and you don't know who you are, much less what a cab is.
Hitchhiking : Daring. You have my blessing.
Places To Eat
Let's face it. You're probably not going to eat much if at all this day. If you do, it'll be off some random strange guy's chips and salsa plate at the bar, or maybe some stale chips you might find at home, at your buddy's place where you're crashing or at the same random's whose chips and salsa you mooched off earlier. In any case, food is not a priority. Count on consuming your carbs the liquid way.
Places to Stay Hotel/Motel : If you want to stay at a place where you don't have to clean up your mess the next morning, try the HoJo or Holiday Inn or YMCA, any place where you and friends and strangers alike can gather after last call and drink some more.
An Apartment Other Than Yours : Staying at your own apartment wouldn't be a party. Thus a good refuge after a hard day's drinking can be either: 1. Your friend's pad, or 2. A random hook-up's place. Both are free, and neither requires emotional commitment. The second choice, however, is far more embarrassing for you and the party involved than the first choice, unless of course, the random stays with you at your friend's place, in which case it's awkward for pretty much everybody. But if such fleeting moments of awkwardness refrained people from ever boozing and hooking up, what would happen to St. Patrick's Day and all its drinking glory? Shudder to think.
An Open Field or Alley : A very plausible situation. The whole stretch of Lake Shore Drive has lots of room in the form of grass, stone, concrete and sand for those that just can't get enough fresh air. For those obliterated individuals who aren't nature lovers, but still like a brisk breeze, there's an abundance of alleys ready to accommodate you. Just choose a nook near a Dumpster and plop yourself down! Be careful as not to infringe on anyone else's permanent living quarters, as you don't want to create a scene. Hopefully, you will have already saved that for while you were conscious.
Finally. . .
Above all, please remember to make the tradition of a complete drunken, public spectacle of yourself alive and well. It would be quasi-sacrilegious if you didn't. And it certainly wouldn't be St. Patrick's Day. Have fun.
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